one year later

Alisa Muñiz 2017 all rights reserved

One year later
The scar remains
Still present
Though less tender
Between the bruises of love
You burned onto my spirit
And onto my skin
How was I to know
-18 degrees made it impossible
To register the pain
How was I to know
I would miss the aching reminder
Love is not pain

One year later
The scar remainsimg_8671

Love is neither patient nor kind
She’s a vicious beast
Devouring hope, dreams and self esteem
Next time I see her,
I’m going to bust her knee caps in
Or beg her to take my pathetic ass back.

Pressure

The pressure of your body
Is 10 steps away
7 of them
Up the steep
Narrow
Spiral staircase
I didn’t sleep a wink
You, so close
I hear your breath
As you sleep
And you, so far away
I am not sure
We ever touched

Alisa Muñiz MarrowSong All rights reserved 2017

Resentment

Resentment does not grow in neat rows
It is more like the spontaneous patch of crabgrass
I’ve seen it before, overtaking my garden
And I fear that even though
Our love is so big
Our love is so whole
The crabgrass will push through
As you realize I am not
The source of  perfection
I reflect back to you

Alisa Muñiz MarrowSong All rights reserved 2017

Survival Speculation

I am feeling very raw in my human experience today.

No particular reason,

More like a million particle reasons

Floating around in matter of mind-heart space.

I’m just breathing, remembering I am love(d).

Waves of honest truth bubbling up

Like the sweetness of being a mom,

When it wasn’t always so sweet as a kid,

In those moments I am failing But not hopeless

Waiting for response from the other side

A dissolved marriage,

Arriving at the dissolution of family vs the solution

I am met a passing breeze,

No longer the woman I met at the altar

But like the altered seams of my dress

Willing to change

Ultimately, I am ok.

Deeply and fully ok.

I carry in the cavernous halls of my soul,

A sustaining recollection of fortitude. And the physical pain in my bones reminds me

It is a gift to be alive,

While still the pain is like a sneak peak

Into what it might feel like to die.

But it is not time

This is just a moment of the journey

I’ve made it this far.

Through broken impoverished childhood, I have survive.

Through violations of body, flesh and safety, I have survived.

Through oceans rising and evaporating, I have survived. Having turned from the goddess’ first tear to the last grain of sand, I survived.

For only in this moment and only in my mind, is my fear greater than my truth.

I was born to live. I was born to know. I was born to be.

In within that, I shall thrive,

While being blessed with incredible moments of grace

Speak Now

Talk loudly if you need to sister,
Now is not the time to be silenced
Or held back by the layers of oppression
Be brave and speak truth right now
For years of being pushed back
Voices cast aside to reclaim the shadow
But do not turn your head sister
Do not stop speaking,
Especially when asked to “settle down”
Don’t, do not stop speaking
For all the years your voice has been shut off
Speak now, not just for your cause sister
Speak now for our daughters
Speak now for all the voices quieted
Before they ever had the chance to speak.

NaPoWriMo #14

Alisa Muñiz All rights reserved 2016

When I was a river I created a course to flow
Bending and yielding with graceful ease
It soaked love into the surrounding land

Travelling with nothing of my journey to show
I longed to touch and to become one with the seas
Until one day air told me they knew the way

Explaining all I needed was to trust I could expand
And be willing to remember how to play.

Part of the NaPoWriMo 2016 challenge

NaPoWriMo #8

by Alisa Muniz all rights reserved 2016

First I was hard and buried, no wait
before that I was part of my mother
then I became a piece that broke away
and fell to the ground

On the ground I hardened, feeling un-held,
exposed to the elements,
I learned to love the sun, moon and rain
amidst the lonely days

Over time, I began to change in ways I couldn’t see
sinking into my own rotting world
letting it cover me in mossy earthen dampness
somehow I stopped liking the sun on my face

Life in darkness became my home
safe in the crumbling folds of rotting bone
ancient tears and dried up ocean
but all I saw was the vacuity of the moment

Coarse deprecating eternities pushed and pulled
as I sat still in their quaking dissonance
a harmony of emptiness and loss
vibrating and shifting a dying within

Broken and collapsed I welcomed the sweet death
pieces of all I had to be disappeared
leaving me with nothing to contain my smallness
I started to expand

Pushing outward somehow I knew where to go
though I didn’t know where I was going
outside of my smallness it seemed I had purpose
and an inward propelling direction

Suddenly I was no longer dying darkness
or turned soil of the earth
without breath or fire
watered only occasionally

Reaching I discovered I was of the sacred earth, but not only earth
and in a moment became the wind in my budding awakening
fueled by the burning sun which called me to dance at the fireside
as rain sang songs in my turning opening spirit.

NaPoWriMo #12

Alisa Muñiz all rights reserved 2016

Beginnings, see also: failure; trust; endings

Value, where to seek

Boundaries, stop taking anymore shit

Clear, how to

Mind
Space
Time
Guilt

Celebrate, success

You’re, getting better

Endings, see also: failure; trust; beginnings

 

Part of the NaPoWriMo 2016 challenge