Alone

It wasn’t always just bitter Saturday evenings

With broken hearts exchanged between us

There were moments when we’d see hope or fire

Burning in the warmth of our connection

The children never saw it once you fell in love with the bottle

Who lived in the basement and under the bed

Sometimes in your car or coat pocket

It bended us, that secret drink that wasn’t really a secret

Making us strangers in the most unsafe way

I remember coming home to the toddler, drinking your juice

Which they had added batteries to while your body spilled off the couch

In a lifeless tumble while Lightening McQueen’s face

Flashed on the menu screen, hours after the movie ending

You hadn’t died that night, not in a way that’s easy to understand

But I saw the person I loved was swallowed whole

By vapors of grain and years of grief

When spring comes I remember you for the promise you were

Capstone of safety and belongings, together we were supposed to

Overcome it all and find purpose

Only I found purpose in the baby and you found it in the bottle

Who never loved you back.

NaPoWriMo #14

Alisa Muñiz All rights reserved 2016

When I was a river I created a course to flow
Bending and yielding with graceful ease
It soaked love into the surrounding land

Travelling with nothing of my journey to show
I longed to touch and to become one with the seas
Until one day air told me they knew the way

Explaining all I needed was to trust I could expand
And be willing to remember how to play.

Part of the NaPoWriMo 2016 challenge

NaPoWriMo #8

by Alisa Muniz all rights reserved 2016

First I was hard and buried, no wait
before that I was part of my mother
then I became a piece that broke away
and fell to the ground

On the ground I hardened, feeling un-held,
exposed to the elements,
I learned to love the sun, moon and rain
amidst the lonely days

Over time, I began to change in ways I couldn’t see
sinking into my own rotting world
letting it cover me in mossy earthen dampness
somehow I stopped liking the sun on my face

Life in darkness became my home
safe in the crumbling folds of rotting bone
ancient tears and dried up ocean
but all I saw was the vacuity of the moment

Coarse deprecating eternities pushed and pulled
as I sat still in their quaking dissonance
a harmony of emptiness and loss
vibrating and shifting a dying within

Broken and collapsed I welcomed the sweet death
pieces of all I had to be disappeared
leaving me with nothing to contain my smallness
I started to expand

Pushing outward somehow I knew where to go
though I didn’t know where I was going
outside of my smallness it seemed I had purpose
and an inward propelling direction

Suddenly I was no longer dying darkness
or turned soil of the earth
without breath or fire
watered only occasionally

Reaching I discovered I was of the sacred earth, but not only earth
and in a moment became the wind in my budding awakening
fueled by the burning sun which called me to dance at the fireside
as rain sang songs in my turning opening spirit.

NaPoWriMo #12

Alisa Muñiz all rights reserved 2016

Beginnings, see also: failure; trust; endings

Value, where to seek

Boundaries, stop taking anymore shit

Clear, how to

Mind
Space
Time
Guilt

Celebrate, success

You’re, getting better

Endings, see also: failure; trust; beginnings

 

Part of the NaPoWriMo 2016 challenge

The Truth of Spring

By alisa muñiz all rights reserved 2016

Spring has sprung beneath the scattered white pine needles

Metal scrapes against the earth and misplaced rocks
Arms move back and forth
Up and down, over flip
Repeat
These are my days, as feet step in to spongey soaked earth
Of lighter sweaters and pants but no coat, hat or gloves
Where wind whips and whirls under the entangled spruces
Land mines of post winter dog shit litters the ground
Teasing and taunting strained slumbering back muscles
That even after the bitter cold months spent praying for warmth
Spring might awaken hope for budding regrowth and ice cream trucks
There will still be left over shit to take care of in unexpected places
Before you can walk without fear.

Dear Spirit

Dear Spirit,
I appreciate the clear signals
You gift to me
Letting me know where
I should or shouldn’t be headed.

I know I will be there,
I know I am getting closer.

Thank you for clarity and a life
Of service
To that which is divinity.

Still, if I might ask a favor,
I would wish that you continue
To hold me in your grace and love
As I grow.

That I might not fear what comes
From the fire,
Toward my expanding heart.

For what can I bring to the world
If I fear the journey?

This kindling of my spirit
Yearns to grow into the fullness of
Organic magnitude within
One lasting moment
I call this life.

Alisa Muniz Blanchard all rights reserved

I have awoken!

I have awoken! I have awoken!
The journey home was so hard,
I slept for years;
but I open my eyes to this life
and see my way.
No longer surrounded in fear,
I extend to the stars and say:
heaven walks on earth.
I am the moon, flowing as a river,
saturating the earth with my blood,
which shimmers like stars in
the light of my heart
which illuminates the night.

Copyright Alisa Blanchard 2012