Alone

It wasn’t always just bitter Saturday evenings

With broken hearts exchanged between us

There were moments when we’d see hope or fire

Burning in the warmth of our connection

The children never saw it once you fell in love with the bottle

Who lived in the basement and under the bed

Sometimes in your car or coat pocket

It bended us, that secret drink that wasn’t really a secret

Making us strangers in the most unsafe way

I remember coming home to the toddler, drinking your juice

Which they had added batteries to while your body spilled off the couch

In a lifeless tumble while Lightening McQueen’s face

Flashed on the menu screen, hours after the movie ending

You hadn’t died that night, not in a way that’s easy to understand

But I saw the person I loved was swallowed whole

By vapors of grain and years of grief

When spring comes I remember you for the promise you were

Capstone of safety and belongings, together we were supposed to

Overcome it all and find purpose

Only I found purpose in the baby and you found it in the bottle

Who never loved you back.

Resentment

Resentment does not grow in neat rows
It is more like the spontaneous patch of crabgrass
I’ve seen it before, overtaking my garden
And I fear that even though
Our love is so big
Our love is so whole
The crabgrass will push through
As you realize I am not
The source of  perfection
I reflect back to you

Alisa Muñiz MarrowSong All rights reserved 2017

Forgiveness

Alisa Muniz Blanchard all rights reserved

Forgiveness, now on the menu!
It is a baton of deep-fried potato
Generally salted and at times
Served with various complimentary sauces
And a favorite of just about every kid!
Hot and delicious, forgiveness goes best
When eaten with lunch, dinner or as a snack
Personally I find forgiveness to taste best
When found at a city street vendor
Shared with the roaring conversation of passing cars or
When cut into unusual shapes
Crinkled, curly, thick, thin, long, short or smiling.

A Life Worth Making

Alisa Muniz Blanchard
Two roads lend a hand to my fate…(tharr be more)
And uncertain of tomorrow’s need
And myself, I decided to wait
And glanced down one which seemed so straight
But wonder, could I live with its creed;

Then took the other; less refined
And vaguely declaring intention
Because it was compassionate and kind
With humanity be entwined
Blocking the road for circumvention,

To my young eyes both about the same
Decided be optimistic
For my life’s journey is not about fame
Sincerity does not carry shame.
Forgive me for being idealistic

And when we come to say goodbye
To be proud of our moral sense
Our youthful soul; body no longer spry
Seeing regrets little in supply
From living life with no pretense.

Fashioned after Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”

 

 

http://www.napowrimo.net/

A charm for life

Alisa Muniz Blanchard 2014

Time to move with the energy
Release unwanted cellular memory

Life vision filled with imprudent decay
Part which no longer serve fall away

Photo courtesy of Common-Moments.com

Photo courtesy of Common-Moments.com

No longer will I be an absentee
As I am my fondest devoteeFor I travel with the abundant flow
Reclaiming my spiritual escrow

Stand not at the crossroads passively
Life is a gift we receive magically

 

http://www.napowrimo.net/

Creation Myth

Alisa Muniz Blanchard 2014

Existing in the darkness
Deep slumber
Still before the stirring
The call to creation

She was, the original mother
Powerful creatrix of the
Heavens and the earth
Atabeisun

Ancient already
Atabei gathered pieces
Of the consuming
Expansive darkness

Creating two sons
Calibration and balance
Of light Yucajú
Of shadow Guacar

Yucajú, with the fertile earth
Collected stones for the sky
Illuminating the night
And from his heart, the sun and moon

The ground was rich
Trees and plants readily grew
And animals and birds came from Yucajú
To bless the earth and her growth

Guacar sat in shadow
Secluded and still
Watching as life came forth
At his brother’s calling

He stewed in this deep
Swollen silence growing like fury
Lone and forgotten Gaucar
Refused to enjoy the beauty

After a time Yucajú
Decided to honor his mother
Creation of a new life
as the first soul

Locou flourished
Celebrating Atabei and Yucajú
Kneeling in reverence
And wonder

However something stirs
In unseen shadow
Which calls forward bitterness
And vicious destruction

So Guacar trembled in envy
Shaking life from its roots
Separating the land with vibrations
Salty tears of his and man’s fears

Legacy laden with the blame and shame
His reconstruction of the earth
No longer an opportunity of change
Consumed by evil

Mighty shifts of the earth
Called for more gods
To manifest and
Reduce the devastation

To help, Yucajú
Gifted Locou fire instructing
Gather the up turned roots to
Cook cassava as food

Delighted by the beauty of fire,
Locou pulled open his bellybutton
Where from him came
As though he were a god himself, new life

A woman and a man
In likeness of Atabei and Yucajú
To carry the fire forward
Brightening the trembling shadows

In offering they cultivated the land
Celebrated the sun
Cried to the stars and
Blessed the separation of land by the waters

And in the stillness
When times slows just enough
You can still taste the sweetness
Of life before creation

Bridge Child:

Alisa Muniz Blanchard copyright 2014

I was born into the arms of my grandmothers
at the bridge,
where darkness touches light
and the colors meet
beginning to mix together
in the great melting pot

Thick like the blood of my ancestors
my grandmothers tears
burned through
silence
oppression
degradation

Arriving sweet and tender
kisses of life
a newborn
like fragile fragments of hope

Reawakening places
believed long dead and passed
through tattered fragments
promises of tomorrow
were celebrated
with reclaimed threads

Her heart
singing me awake
unto the world
an ancient vibrating life force
pushed into my bones
by her breath

A call to remember what
I was, before
I was born
when darkness touched light
and the colors met and mixed
to create this family’s
children of the bridge

Secret Filth

Alisa Muniz Blanchard copyright 2014

 

When I was born
my body was white
where you could see

a costume perfect
for hiding all the
dark, “dirty” crevices
and folds of my body
covering my secret,

I am one of “those”
you speak of

just before telling me:
settle down
why are you upset
you are not really like “them”

and what it all meant
was lost to me
as I dressed in my whiteness
my whole life dreaming

through the silence
denying the colors of my body
“they” strive to honor
“they” strive to embrace

in the absorption
of being
not really
like “them”
I stopped being
like me.

I knew it was time

I knew

Photo by Alisa Muniz Blanchard, all rights reserved

Alisa Muniz Blanchard copyright 2014I knew it was time
when the drumming
sounding less like a heartbeat
became bullets to my soul

I knew it was time
when the rhythm of life
stopped pulsating in my feet
and they refused to dance

I knew it was time
when my spirit song
once vibrant and resounding
ceased to exist

I knew it was time
when the eyes of my loved ones
dampened their light
looking into my blackening eyes

I knew it was time
when morning no longer held
mysterious wonder
in the opportunity waiting ahead

I knew it was time
when waking moments
were cold and dark
like an empty cavern

I knew it was time
when I remembered
the dregs of despair
are but passing shadows

I knew it was time
calling myself back
a summoning of love
to know again:

the beat of a drum,
the rapture of dance,
the cadence of my song,
the spark of light,
the purpose of my life.

Fat Girl

Alisa Muniz Blanchard Copyright 2014

For most of my life I was fat
Hidden behind fat
“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful”
As though beauty couldn’t exist
In the cloak of my skin
Same as it does
On bones and tendons
Ashamed to be seen
I covered the fat girl
In layer after layer
Of unseen
Through the mass of self
Deprived existence
And echoing shame
Somehow I had forgotten
That every cell of my being
Was created by the dust
Of ancient stars