Survival Speculation

I am feeling very raw in my human experience today.

No particular reason,

More like a million particle reasons

Floating around in matter of mind-heart space.

I’m just breathing, remembering I am love(d).

Waves of honest truth bubbling up

Like the sweetness of being a mom,

When it wasn’t always so sweet as a kid,

In those moments I am failing But not hopeless

Waiting for response from the other side

A dissolved marriage,

Arriving at the dissolution of family vs the solution

I am met a passing breeze,

No longer the woman I met at the altar

But like the altered seams of my dress

Willing to change

Ultimately, I am ok.

Deeply and fully ok.

I carry in the cavernous halls of my soul,

A sustaining recollection of fortitude. And the physical pain in my bones reminds me

It is a gift to be alive,

While still the pain is like a sneak peak

Into what it might feel like to die.

But it is not time

This is just a moment of the journey

I’ve made it this far.

Through broken impoverished childhood, I have survive.

Through violations of body, flesh and safety, I have survived.

Through oceans rising and evaporating, I have survived. Having turned from the goddess’ first tear to the last grain of sand, I survived.

For only in this moment and only in my mind, is my fear greater than my truth.

I was born to live. I was born to know. I was born to be.

In within that, I shall thrive,

While being blessed with incredible moments of grace

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